They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
