Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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