My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
