I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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