where am i from again
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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