Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
