Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i've created a new STD.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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