i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
