come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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