I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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