This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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