Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I want her autograph on my taint
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize