i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
