You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
