i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
