We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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