Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
