i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I need to align my fucking chakras
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
