Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
