I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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