you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
