There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She needs sedatives and a leash
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
