you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Never joke about your clitoris.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
