A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
