Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
