yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
In America we eat man semen.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
