I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
