No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize