I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize