best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
