I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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