she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
