so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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