Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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