U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize