You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
