I heard we made out
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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