Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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