You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
