What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
