I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
