sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
