I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
