Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
