drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
