You smell like a Billy Joel song
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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