I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
