she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
