Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude. I can hear the air.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize