I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
please come you make the beer taste better
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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