Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
