I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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