I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
