That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
