okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
God gave him joint rollers for hands
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
