you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
