We're facebook friends in real life
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
