I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize