it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
