Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
